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about me

My name is John; I am in many ways a walking contradiction. I rarely show how intelligent I truly am for reasons I still fail to understand completely, I am addicted to sex and music and sometimes treat them as medication for the many issues I can't seem to find answers to, despise society and our government yet I have served four years in the military and fought in Afghanistan protecting their beliefs. The only thing I fear is love but still I chase it to no avail. I often find myself thinking entirely too much about minuscule things and have no idea as to where I am headed. People to me are very simple to figure out and so difficult to relate to. I sometimes offend those around me with my ability to psychoanalyze them and predict their decisions. Although I am as writing on a wall, no one knows who I really am. Most of my childhood is simply repressed memories so I am at times a child today. I relate very well to the character “Rorschach” from the watchmen movie. I have written many stories of a child centuries old that made a bet with god, after so long I finally admitted to myself that they were a metaphor for who I am (I quit writing them). I don’t believe in religion or marriage yet I accept and promote the positive things they have done for society. I neither deny or accept the possibility or creation and strongly agree that the idea cannot be proven nor disproved. I allow people to assume that they know me or what I'm like, it somehow amuses me to watch them fail. The things that mean nothing to me come easy, those I truly desire elude me. I am a work in progress and completely aware of who I am and who I want to be, still I struggle to make it all come true but this is I.

about my fling

tell you later