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seeking: Men  interested in: Experimenting, Open To Relationship  
Age/Gender: 31 year old Woman
Location: Colchester , UK001 United Kingdom
Height: Ask me
Body Type: Average
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Race: White
Religion: Ask me
Languages: Ask me
Income: Ask me
Profession: Sales and Marketing
Status: Ask me
about me
SWF in over-paid job seeks dumpy neurotic for shouting matches, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy smoking drugs, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, petty theft, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. I spend a lot of time yelling at little kids that step on my lawn. I like to run with scissors. I am the kinda girl that won't play by the rules of society. I have middling intelligence but try to appear cleverer by affecting a posh air, memorizing pointless quotes of classical works, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes. I'm 30, but look 52 and feel 69. I'm not holding my breath, but I am looking for interesting conversation with someone that will not have to be quoted later on in a courtroom. I joke of course. In actual fact I am originally from Cardiff in Wales, hence a welsh lilt to the accent. Now settling down in Essex after working for Royal Caribbean cruises for the last 3 years. I am an especially happy go lucky, fun loving girl who loves to laugh and enjoy life. I love a good night out, as well as a good night in. I work in the health and beauty industry (which is more interesting than it sounds) so I like to take care of myself as well as others. I love to travel and explore new things yadda yadda yadda...... In short, I am looking for a kind hearted guy with a great sense of humour who can handle me...
about my fling
You are a woman-hating, crazy ***hole with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. Over time you will project all your mummy-issues on me and grow hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Extra credit if you just finished dating every slut in town but now want to take it slow with me. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling but prefer a long-term, spirit crushing descent into alcoholism and pills. Age unimportant, but I will condescend to men under 22 and rehash daddy issues with men over 47. Serious replies only, please.