Fling Blog

Find a Fling!

Fling Blog

9 Tips to a Write Great First Dating Message

By: Cameron Willimson , February 23, 2022
Start meeting new people in your area!
The first impression is important, and we all know that. While it’s not that hard to impress someone in real life if you are confident, good-looking, and smart, it might not be so easy online. On the internet, you can’t talk with your smooth voice, charm with a beautiful smile, or shine a light through your eyes. All you have is a catchy first message to make the person on the other site answer you.
This article was created with the intention to arrange your first message in the most effective way, so not only will you stay unnoticed, but get the answer you want quickly.

How to Write a Great First Message in Online Dating

The first thing to understand here is that the perfect first message on a dating app is a myth. People are very different, and you can’t grab anyone’s attention with one template and get the same awesome result every time. If that could be true, all dating services would have just one icebreaker. Everyone who’s used dating sites with icebreakers knows there’s more than one. Nevertheless, there are some tips to craft your first message in a way it would bring your response in most cases. So, let’s find out how to compose a good first message on a dating site to arouse some interest in a person you like and make the decision to answer you an easy choice for them.

Tip 1 – Be polite

You may have seen some advice to start with a cheeky line to provoke some irritation or hinder their nerves a little. Such advice promises you that it will make them respond, and even if their first reply won’t be that pleasant, the main thing is to start a discussion. While it may work sometimes, such an approach is still not good for an online dating opening message. It says a lot about how you like to treat people, and even if you make up for it later, the first expression is hard to forget.
Just imagine you’re not a creepy person who needs tricks this desperate to catch someone’s eye. Self-respect is something that speaks good of you, so don’t opt for manipulating people you don’t even know. Keep a light, friendly tone and show them you’re someone they can deal with in a pleasant and relaxing manner.

Tip 2 – Simple rules of conversation still work

This might seem obvious advice, but greet people! Yes, they can see your name and photo on your profile, but it doesn’t mean you already know each other. In a certain way, first messages on dating apps are similar to what you would say to a person you’ve been introduced to offline. And a simple greeting is a must in such cases.
Ok, you may say, for now, I have nothing to stand out with if I follow these tips. How do I get them interested? The answer is our third tip.

Tip 3 – Study their profile

Your message shouldn’t look like a spam letter that you just shove into everyone’s inbox with the hope it won’t end up in a trash can. So, as you may know from the promotional letters you receive yourself, a good letter from a stranger is a personalized letter.
While you may not appreciate such a level of digging from someone who sells vacuum cleaners, on a dating site, we all expect to get attention, so it’s ok to do a little research. Learn what they are passionate about, what they love to do, what places they love to visit, and if you have some common interest. If that online dating first message is important to you because you like the person, you’ve probably already done that. Try to appeal to things you have in common, sound a real interest, and they will appreciate it. At least a mere “thank you” for a well-thought compliment is guaranteed.

Tip 4 – Try a disarming sincerity

You might know that nervous shivering when you look at the message form and hesitate for half an hour because the person you’re trying to write to seems really great. You carefully weigh every word like the whole world depends on it, but it’s not. What you can do in this case is to try being honest about how startled you are by their beauty and personality and that you’d like to have a chance to know them better. Still, that kind of approach may not seem like a good online dating first message to a guy, according to the joint cultural background. But if you are a guy and want to impress a girl, such boldness may help you score. Just try to keep calm and convey that you’d love to meet them, but you’ll live anyway.

Tip 5 – Pick the right time

Check if the person you want to reach has been online recently. If you write to someone who is absent for a week or more, there is a risk that when they log in again, your message will be buried under other users’ attempts to impress them. So, select the time when they visit the site constantly or are online. The best first message on a dating app should pop up at the right moment to succeed.

Tip 6 – End the message with a question or a suggestion

Just to make it easier for them to come up with the reply, ask a question, or offer an activity. Let’s presume they like you back and are nervous as well; a simple question or an offer to discuss something or grab a coffee sometimes provides a simple way to compose the response. You may even ask for their expert opinion if you figure out they’re good at something.

Tip 7 – Avoid sensitive topics

What we mean here is there are a lot of things that mean nothing to you but are essential to the other person. Though it might be hard to indicate such things reading their profile, try to avoid the common once. Don’t bring religion, politics, money, or gender roles with you first “hello,” leave these topics for the times when you know each other better. In the end, those things don’t matter until you want to raise kids together, so they are definitely not good topics for a start.

Tip 8 – Compliment them!

Compliments are great, and we all love them. The problem here is that we receive the general ones all the time, and they are not impressive at all. You find the girl beautiful? Imagine, you might not be the one who’s noticed. And most people are lazy, so they go with just that without trying to generate something more customized. Don’t be like this; look at photos and compliment something that amazes you the most. Let them know you see the details instead of just grabbing the general impression. You may not only complement a person’s appearance. Say their home is impressive, or it seems like they have very nice friends, or their pet is a cutie pie. In fact, talking about things that might matter to them instead of just saying they have beautiful eyes may be better accepted.

Tip 9 – Check your grammar

Don’t underestimate this point. Show respect to your interlocutor and check your grammar before you send the message. Especially if you type on your phone. For online dating, first email is like your business card, so put in some effort.

Effective Online Dating First Message Examples

So, we’ve agreed that first messages are important. Let’s see some of the best opening messages for online dating that you may consider when creating your own.
Hi! I’ve noticed how natural and relaxed you look in your photos. Is it natural talent, or can you share some tips, please?
Hello. Your dog looks so happy, and you seem like a very caring owner. What are your favorite places to walk your pet?
Hi. I’ve noticed you’re an excited traveler. Is there a chance you write a blog about it? I’d like to read.
Good evening. You look like a morning person. Any advice for a desperate owl?
Hello. Your gym photos are gorgeous. Where do you go?
Good day. It’s so nice to see someone with a paper book these days. Don’t they smell awesome?
Hey there! Your profile is hilarious. Want to share a laugh? Any chance you’d like to go to see a stand-up show with me?
Hi. You have such an unusual name. What is the story?
Hi. I see you love movies. I’m a fan too. Tell me if you ever need company!
Hey! I’ve noticed your fan t-shirt. I adore this band too! Maybe we could meet at a concert?
Want to practice your communication skills?

Final Thoughts

There is no such thing as the best first message for online dating. When you’re trying to come up with a good one, there are a lot of things to take into account. What has landed you a date with one person may not work with another. You need to take some time and think about what to write to this particular person to spark their interest. Most profiles can give you some hints, and in other cases, look carefully at the photos. There is something for sure that you can complement or appreciate. If you intend to put effort into dating, first message should be crafted as a piece of art. It’s not hard at all after some practice, and with our tips, you’re nine steps closer to success.
Talk to friendly people online! Join Fling.com!
Table of contents