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Beginner’s Sex Toy Guide: How To Use Sex Toys & 4 Types To Try

By: Cameron Willimson , September 27, 2023
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When looking to spice up your sex life, there’s multiple directions to go – new positions, new locations, additional partners and sex toys. Sex toys themselves offer a wide variety of options to use alone or with partners to feel new sensations and expand your pleasurable experiences. 


With this guide, you’ll learn about how to know if sex toys are right for your sex life, the options you have and how to go about using them. Beginners will have everything they need to bring some fun into their sexual experiences with sex toys.

Ask Yourself This Before Learning How To Use Sex Toys

To take stock of what is arousing for you, ask yourself these questions:


  1. What types of touch are most stimulating for you?
  2. What body parts being touched are most arousing for you?
  3. Is it easy or challenging for you to orgasm?
  4. What are the best ways for you to reach climax?


To determine some direction you should take when selecting sex toys ask yourself these questions:


  1. Are you planning on using it in the shower, and do you need it to be waterproof?
  2. If it vibrates or needs power, would you prefer battery-operated or rechargeable?
  3. Will you be using it solo, with a partner, or both?

Which Types of Sex Toys Are Good For Beginners?

When it comes to choosing which types of sex toys are great for beginners, it’s important to prioritize comfort, usability and what you actually want out of the toy. 


A staple, no-frills option is a dildo. They come in a variety of options and afford a penetrative sexual experience. Another excellent option is a small, smooth silicone vibrator. These are typically discreet, and easy to handle. Another great choice is a beginner-friendly butt plug, preferably made of body-safe materials like silicone. Additionally, adjustable cock rings made from soft, stretchy materials can be a fantastic choice for couples seeking to enhance intimacy and pleasure. Ultimately, the key is to prioritize toys that are non-intimidating, easy to clean, and made from body-safe materials to ensure a positive and enjoyable experience for beginners.

1. Dildos

A dildo is a sex toy designed for penetration, typically shaped like a phallus, although they can also come in various non-phallic forms. They are crafted from materials like silicone, rubber, glass, and metal, with silicone being a popular choice due to its body-safe properties.


For beginners, it’s recommended to start with a smaller, non-intimidating size made of like silicone. This ensures a softer, more comfortable experience. Using a water-based lubricant is crucial to reduce friction and enhance comfort during penetration.

2. Butt Plugs

Butt plugs are also made from a variety of body-safe materials like silicone, glass, or stainless steel, and they often come in different sizes to accommodate various levels of experience and different sensations.


For beginners, it’s crucial to start with a small-sized, beginner-friendly butt plug. These are specifically designed to be non-intimidating and comfortable for those new to anal play. Additionally, make sure the material is body-safe and non-porous to ensure a safe and hygienic experience.

3. Vibrators 

Vibrators come in a variety of shapes and sizes catering to a wide range of preferences. Typically powered by batteries or rechargeable motors, vibrators can be used for solo or partnered play, offering a wide array of stimulating experiences. They’re usually phallic shaped, even the smaller-sized ones and those that aren’t used for penetration.

4. Cock Rings

Cock rings slide around the penis or both the penis and testicles, to restrict blood flow and help maintain a firmer and longer-lasting erection. They come in a variety of materials, including silicone, rubber, leather, and metal, and may have adjustable or stretchable features for a comfortable fit.


For beginners, it’s recommended to start with a stretchy and adjustable cock ring made of body-safe materials like silicone which is also easy to use and clean. You’ll want it to be flexible and easy to put on and remove. It should be snug, but not overly tight. If it causes discomfort or restricts blood flow excessively, it’s too small.

How To Use Sex Toys

Once you’ve explored the many options and chosen sex toys suitable to your needs, the fun begins. There’s a variety of uses for all of them. Here are some suggestions on where to start.

How To Use A Dildo

To use a dildo, and all of the other sex toys, start by ensuring it’s clean and sanitized. Apply a generous amount of lubricant to both the toy and the area you intend to penetrate. Start with gentle exploration, allowing your body to adjust to the sensations. Pay attention to what feels comfortable and pleasurable.


Gradually experiment with depths, different angles, speeds of thrusting and body positions to find what feels best for you. Remember that relaxation and arousal are key to comfortable penetration, so take your time and listen to your body.

How To Use A Butt Plug 

Similar to a dildo, you can use a generous amount of water-based lubricant to the plug and the area around the anus. Relaxation is key, so take your time and breathe deeply to help your muscles loosen up. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not naturally lubricate, so using lube is crucial to minimize friction and discomfort. 


Find a comfortable position, such as lying on your side with your knees drawn towards your chest. Alternatively, you can kneel on all fours. Slowly and gently insert the tapered end of the plug into the anus. Take your time and never force it. Once inserted, the plug should rest comfortably in place. It’s important to never force or rush this process. If it feels uncomfortable or painful, remove it immediately.


Once the plug is inside, you may feel a sensation of fullness, which can be pleasurable. Allow your body to adjust to the plug at its own pace. Beginners should start with a smaller size and gradually work their way up to larger plugs if desired. Ensure the flared base of the plug is outside the body and comfortably positioned between your buttocks. This is crucial to prevent the plug from getting lost inside.

How To Use Vibrators

For beginners, it’s recommended to start with a basic, user-friendly vibrator. The smaller ones are also great to be discreet and bring to someone else’s house or to travel with. 


Begin by ensuring the vibrator is clean and charged or has fresh batteries. You can also use water-based lubricant for the vibrator and the area you intend to stimulate. This reduces friction and enhances comfort, but it isn’t always necessary.


Start with the lowest intensity setting and gently explore different areas of the body. For beginners, it’s often best to begin with external stimulation, such as the clitoris or other erogenous zones. Most vibrators have levels of intensity and patterns. You can also try using it through underwear to start before putting it directly to your skin. Take your time and adjust the settings to suit your preferences.

How To Use A Cock Ring

Ensure both the penis and testicles are clean and dry. Apply a small amount of water-based lubricant to aid in putting on and taking off the cock ring. Gently stretch it and slide it down to the base of the penis. If it has multiple rings (one for the penis and one for the testicles), slide the appropriate ring(s) into position. The aim is to have it sit comfortably and securely at the base.


Engage in sexual activity as usual. The cock ring should help maintain a firmer and potentially longer-lasting erection by restricting blood flow from the penis. It may also enhance sensation for the wearer, and some of them have a tiny vibrator to stimulate the partner’s clitoris.


Lastly, you’ll want to keep track of the time. It’s important not to wear a cock ring for an extended period (usually no longer than 20-30 minutes at a time) to avoid potential discomfort or safety concerns. If any discomfort arises, remove the cock ring immediately.

Beginner’s Tips For Using Sex Toys Solo

Using sex toys solo for the first time is a great way to get to know your body and desires better without a partner. You’ll be able to experiment by yourself before sharing your body and fantasies with somebody else. 


Some tips to get started include: 


  • Get in the mood by making sure the setting is comfortable and sexy. Whether it’s in bed or in the shower, set the lights low and make sure the temperature is right.
  • Clear your head and allow yourself time to relax and explore. 
  • You can watch porn to get in the mood. 
  • Vibrators and dildos are a great place to start solo.

Beginner’s Tips For Couples Using Sex Toys

Using sex toys with a partner for the first time is a great way to explore and deepen intimacy. You’ll have opportunities to know each other sexually in new and different ways. 


Some tips for couples using sex toys, or even casual partners, for the first time include:


  • Focus on open and honest communication about desires, boundaries and preferences. Share what you’re both comfortable with and want to experience. 
  • Choose your toys together as a means of furthering the way you communicate about each of your desires. 
  • Start with simple sex toys to make an easy transition into using toys together by trying one of the four aforementioned options. 
  • Have lube on hand. 
  • Make sure you’re using toys to enhance pleasure and not replace your partner. 
  • Check for allergies or sensitivities to certain materials before using sex toys together. 
  • Make sure to abide by each other’s boundaries and keep constant consent by talking about how things feel before, during and after.

Learning How To Use Sex Toys Should Be Fun

This is purely for pleasure! Learning how to use sex toys should be fun, low-pressure and enjoyable, and if it’s not, maybe you’re not ready (and, that’s ok!). Whether you’re rolling solo or introducing sex toys into a session with someone else, it’s important to be safe, relax and to make sure you clean your toys before and after with warm soapy water. 

For more people to explore using sex toys with, sign up for fling.com and meet other people who want to try new things too!

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